For me, the city loses its shine after about two nights. Even if I am winning, a few nights of hard-partying are enough to make me want to grab whatever cash I am up and get the hell out of there while I’m still somewhat sane. But this time, as I drive home with chapped lips and empty pockets, Vegas did me dirtier than I can remember.
After two full days of sports betting, the bets I won and hits of Molly I took stood equal at two apiece. On the third day I lost all six bets I made, but mercifully avoided any hard drugs and I was able to abstain from alcohol until the afternoon. At least I never tried to get a cash advance from a credit card, as a younger me would have done, so perhaps I’ve matured, but a younger me also would not have come with as much cash to blow so I’m most likely the same idiot I’ve always been.
Every year the sunrise over Nevada on the first day of March Madness is my call to action. To get to the sports book in time for the first game on Thursday we have to leave Long Beach by 4:30 AM. Other friends will come at normal hours on later days, but I feel compelled to be where the action is when the first game starts. So once a year I enjoy the desert sunrise on the early morning drive and salivate while thinking about that first morning beer and the stacks of cash I will bring home. At 8:45 we make it to the Tropicana Sports Book with a drink in each hand and a duty to bet the first game on the board. I knew little about the two teams playing so I bet on the one that I heard someone near me talk about. Apparently I was next to the wrong person because my friend Jack heard someone talking about the other team and so he won his first bet of the day and I was stuck hoping to make it back with the next one.
I needed to refocus and since it was too early to check into my room the next logical thing to do was to head to the parking lot to smoke some herb. The parking lot between the Tropicana and Hooters hotels must be pretty mellow because the car parked next to mine had a group of guys standing around a cooler drinking beers. Normally a car with weed smoke coming out of the windows next to a car with four dudes outside drinking beers on a weekday morning would make me feel a bit apprehensive but not in Vegas, it’s more like international waters out there. No matter had hard you fuck off or how stupid you act, someone has done much worse within the last 24 hours. So feel free to get loaded and act the fool with impunity.
Several drinks and losing bets later we are allowed to check in to our rooms and it is the perfect time to take a nap. A few friends crash and I think about doing the same, but I also think about the Molly hiding in the bottom my bag. I don’t condone drug use, drugs are bad and no one should ever do them, but it’s ok if I do them every now and then with my friends, especially on vacation.
I tend to have a hard time not doing drugs when I have them, and I had already been in Vegas for six plus hours without taking the Molly, so I figured that was enough. A friend and I took a hit each and stumbled around the strip with our sober buddy, Ross, who has been clean for a few years. Thank God for Ross, a non-judgmental link to sanity and a sober driver can go a long way when you are tore up and in a city that won’t stop plying you with booze.
When I am loaded, my grasp of the concept of money is tenuous. The bills in my wallet lose at least some of their meaning and this trip was no exception. The money spent on massages and a roller coaster ride was well worth it, but I threw down a few large, stupid bets at the tables that all lost immediately. I suppose if the bets won, I wouldn’t think they were stupid, but I probably would have quickly blown any winnings so I should have just stayed away from the tables all together.

After meeting up with other friends to watch the night games, we decided to grab some dinner when the last game finished at around 10. I am not that hungry but I feel I should eat because that’s what normal people do and I want to feel normal. The food helps and I finish the night in good spirits because although I lost, I didn’t lose it all and I liked some games the next day that would help me get it back.
Day two went about the same as day one. I felt pretty shitty in the morning but made it to the sports book in time for the first morning game. I figured I’d wait a little to start drinking but then Ross orders a bucket of beers and since he does not drink, I have my work cut out for me. Once again, early drunkenness leads to early drug use and fiscal irresponsibility. I’m still having a good time but it’s starting to feel like Groundhog Day.
Day three I finally slept in but not long enough to sleep it off. I ate an actual meal before I started drinking and when I was offered some blow, I was not yet drunk enough to want it. Things were looking up. If I could only just hit some bets. Unfortunately, I bet a bunch of parlays trying for a big score and the teams that I liked that won were combined with bad bets to give me more losers. When someone in our group loses $200 on a last-second, spread-covering, meaningless shot, I feel bad for him, but not that bad because I had been having the same experience all trip. By early evening I am questioning whether my wallet or liver can take much more, but I’ll have plenty of time to be sober when I’m dead so I suck it up for one last self-destructive night before I’m allowed to leave this filthy desert.
The tourney games were exciting as usual and if the game was not in jeopardy in the final seconds, the point spread probably was. Underdogs covered the spread a bunch but didn’t spring as many upsets as I hoped. The result was me typically betting on a team to win outright who plays a good game but loses in the end by a few points, then I notice that they covered the spread and I could’ve won if I didn’t get greedy.
One of the most exciting games for me was the UCI/Louisville game. The UCI Anteaters almost pulled the upset in their first ever NCAA tourney game and the crowd was going crazy for 7’6” Mamadou Ndiaye. My buddy’s wife made him bet UCI for her and she has a track record of calling upsets. She was all about Mercer last year before they upset Duke in the first round. UCI’s zone defense with the big guy down low gave the Cardinals all kinds of problems on offense and almost knocked them out, but they managed to squeak out a two point win.
I doubt anyone saw the Pac12 going 7-1 while Villanova, Virginia, Kansas, Baylor and Iowa State all failed to make it out of the first weekend. The remaining field looks tough, except for maybe UCLA, NC State and Xavier, most teams have a shot at going all the way if someone can knock off Kentucky. I still think the Wildcats will win it all but I will be rooting against them every game unless they play Duke in the Finals because I like underdogs, but fuck Duke.
Well that’s about all for my recap of last week’s action and my poor decision making. While the results were mostly negative I have no regrets and will gladly do it again next year. They only thing I would change if I could go back would be to buy a full day pass for the New York, New York roller coaster and ride that thing over and over while on Molly because that was freaking awesome and one ride wasn’t nearly enough.